It’s that time of year where we all run around trying to find jobs, sitting around being bored even though the holiday has just begun and of course feeling slightly nervous.
It feels good that we have finished all our exams but then what now? What are we going to do? Yeah were gonna go to uni but then what’s going to happen after that? Get a good career, save money, settle, get married, have a family and then what? Die of course.
What a life. We go through all these hard ships to die.
Currently I am not myself. I don’t know what has caused me to be this way but indeed it is real and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I definitely need distractions and believe me when I say I’ll do anything to keep my mind occupied. I am currently trying to find a job, full time for the holidays if I can and spend every silent minute with sleep if I could.
Walking around the school yesterday brought back so much. I still can’t believe that this is actually true, that the end is here. How time flies when you don’t watch where you walk that’s why I trip most of the time.
As much as I want to go back to this time last year, I can’t. It has been just over a year since it all ended and I was pretty sure that things could have worked out. Why must I play the game, why must I be the bad guy, is this karma that I am now receiving? It’s all very complicated but I guess I can’t run away now.
There is no one I can talk to, no one I can run to and of course no one to see me for who I am. Everyone around me has someone to turn to; everyone around me is soon going on vacation and will be leaving me at home alone. By that I mean my sister.
I just wish that special someone would hurry and find me instead of letting me find him. It’s not easy and it’s not fun but it’s clear that we both need each other right? I don’t know what I am talking abut because at this moment I am not myself.
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