Back when I was a kid I had the most exhilarating life. Back then, I still had my dad, I still had one of my awesome uncles. He’s not really my uncle but our families are close up to the point we’re close enough for me to call him uncle.
So back then when I still had a family, every summer we would go to the beach and dig for pippis. Every summer we would go to theme parks, adventure parks and go to all you can eat every week or two. My own family, we would go for a movie every now and then. Those times where we have to go home because my sister and I fall asleep halfway through the movie.
Those were the best times of my life. We were all so happy. We were all so close. It was perfect.
Until…
High school. When I entered high school, I thought my life was just getting started. I was wrong. It was the end. My first year of high school, it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t get my head dunked in the toilet so that’s a thumbs up.
It was all good until the end of my first year. My family and I went over to Vietnam
I was only twelve. I had no idea what was going on. I mean come on, I spent my vacation running around catching dragonflies and pulling them apart by their wings. Yeah I was an evil kid. Less now but still evil.
When I came back home and entered my second year of high school. That was when everything went down a steep hill. Dad left for a week, came back for couple weeks, then left forever. Up until this day I only see him once a week.
About a year after my dad left us, my awesome uncle lost his life. I dint believe until I went over to his house. I saw my aunty cry her eyes out. My girl cousin not being able to hold in her tears. My guy cousin who is younger than me by a day trying to hold in his tears. I just couldn’t believe it. Even at the age of 14 if my memory is correct, I still didn’t have an understand of the situations around me.
My mum, sister and I came to their house for every day for as long as the tears were coming out. Us kids played hide and seek in the streets which was fun because it took the situation off our kiddy minds.
Soon after mum and dad got a divorce and mum and other aunty had an argument and didn’t talk for god knows how long. That was the when I had just had enough of life.
Even with all the shit I went through, for some reason, I just didn’t show it when I was at school. I never showed anyone how I really feel about the things in my life. It was a distraction to be at school with all my friends.
Just a year ago was my brother’s wedding. It brought EVERYONE together. My grandma who mum didn’t talk to for ten years, my aunty who mum had an argument with, relative who I had never seen before or haven’t seen in a while.
Everyone, but dad.
Even when I was 16 I still had no clue on life. Now I’m almost 18 and I still don’t know what’s going on. I blame high school. I hate high school. I hate it because it took EVERYTHING away from me. It took something that was part of me and it killed the kid inside.
But when it comes down to it, I shouldn’t be blaming high school, I shouldn’t be hating it. Its reality that I should hate and blame. Its life that sucks. Its part of growing up. But is it really? Having things taken away from you? Is that what life is? Is it supposed to get worse every year?
You tell me.
I’m done with my years of high school. My last exam will come and that will be the end. Life as it is will be taken away from me. Reality will take my friends away from me and I will probably only see one or two now and then.
You know what this means? I. Have. Nothing. NOTHING.
Oh and another thing. My brother was taken away from me and so was my sister in-law. Stupid really, mum’s fault really. She was JUST being HER. Argument. Brother and sister in-law, gone. Haven’t seen them or talked to them for god knows how long.
I HAVE NOTHING!! WHAT’S THE POINT IN LIFE IF YOU HAVE NOTHING?!!?! ITS NOT FAIR, WHY MUST I GO THROUGH THIS?!?!?!!
Its not fair…
No comments:
Post a Comment