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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Stupid New Year

One year goes by and another one comes. How good that new year is, no one knows until it is over. But no matter how good a year is, there are things that you cannot change even though deep down you wished it had never happened.
I guess i cant blame anyone for the things that happened, i cant even blame myself because whats the use. But you i never said i couldnt hate them, for everything and everyone who had made me shed a tear, to me, you're dead. That's why i deleted you from my world by pressing the delete button i have here. And you know what? It works, i dont think of you and i dont get mad anymore.
With what had made me cry most is probably something i can never get rid of. This thing, i say i can live without it but the truth is, no one can ever live without it. Its like living without air, it just cant be done.

Right now, I seriously give up. I give up on anything that requires much effort. This game we play to survive, yeah, i give up on that too. No matter how hard i try, it never works out. No matter how many chances i take, in the end, i'm back to square one. No matter how many chances i give, no one takes them and when i dont give chances and dont want to be part of this shit, someone comes into my life and stirs things up.
Can i seriously not get one stinky month alone? I dont want to be alone, no thats not what i want. I want to be left alone. There's a difference, find it.

This brand new year where there will be heaps of new experiences, lets see whether or not it will be a good year or not. I also given up on finding a job, something i fucking need but cant fucking get. For fuck sake!

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