I feel as if I’m always alone at home. Even if mum’s home I feel as if I have no one around since she’s always in her room and I’m always in mine.

I get scold at for being myself, for saying things I normally say by my so called family. My grandma, who raised me for half my life scold at me for saying someone’s house is going to collapse because they built it themselves. I guess it’s a harsh thing to say but that’s me. You can’t blame me for being me.

If you’re going to be around me then accept me for who I am, don’t tell me to be what I’m suppose to be because I’ll disagree and most likely I will go pissy pants at you.

This isn’t the time to piss me off because this the most important time of my life of everyone who is at the same age and year as me. It’s important to not piss us off. if you’re going to support us then go ahead, but if you’re going to say something stupid or unsupportive then shut the hell up, we don’t want to hear it.

Having good connections with your family is important probably more important than the connections you have with your friends. But what sucks is that the connections you have with your friends are much more understandable then those with your family.

Friends understand what you’re going through because they too go through the same thing now and then. Family don’t understand at all and they yell at you for being you. Parents are so old school who think just because we’re girls we have to behave politely and be gentle. And they think just because you’re guys then you have to be a gentlemen who never raises your voice no matter what.

Well they can go live that way, we’ll live how ever the hell we want. This is the main reason as to why I want to live with my friends. Ever since I was in primary I had always wished that when I grow up I’ll live with my friends.

This post, I’m not sure what its aim is but I really want the parents and family to understand what it is that’s happening. I want them to realise that time has changed and so has the way of living. They can’t stay in the time that they were born in, they have to understand but I guess I can see that it won’t be happening any time soon so why do I bother?

The best thing happened today, well just before. I cooked for mum ROFL, its not that I never cook but before when I cooked the simplest dish and brought it up to her room on a tray. She laughed and was amazed. She was happy to see the food on a tray being brought to her.

That’s happiness right there. The happiness that I try to find in my family, to have them smile at the simplest things. I should be grateful for what I have left, I should make the most of it as I can because soon I will grow up and I will always be out at either work or school. I won’t have time for family. I can already see that my sister doesn’t have time for us, she’s always out and that’s another reason as to why I’m usually alone now days.

It’s good to have someone out there that you can talk to. I only have three, but one I hardly get to sit down with. So this post is here because there’s no one to talk to at the moment.

Sometimes talking to someone who has no idea what you’re going through is good because it makes you feel like a normal human being who is living a simple life.

I find myself living a way too simple life, that’s why I took up Taekwondo, to make it harder for me so I can focus on more things.

But then when I think about it, I have as much problems as any other person does, I guess my life ain’t that simple after all.

The end is HERE

Its the last week of term three and so the end is coming close. This whole week i'm so busy after school hours, i kind of freaked out. Today i had a reunion for MAC which is the school performance. The ones that was involved in it went and the year 12s got a gift card to JB which is cool-ish. Then i had an hour to kill before going to Taek so i went to nandos with the little ones who were challenging each other with eating chili. i was laughing so bad, i couldve died XD

Wednesday i have double free in the afternoon so i get to go home early but instead i have a orthodontist appointment to tighten my braces. Which colour should i get next? LOL then i come back to school so i can go to Lindah's joint so we can bake and stick our assignment in and talk at the same time because doing it on our own is boring. gosh that sounded wrong just now    D:

Thursday i have a double free in the after noon which is good. i was to have Taek but i HAVE to go to the stupid information night int he bloody city which i am not stuffed to go to but i HAVE to T_______T i dont wanna miss out on Taek, i get to kick ass!!!

Friday we get to go home early but i have the second last period free so i go home earlier and then we have Laser Wars which is going to be fun and then perhaps a movie afterwards depending on the time. I wanna watch Despicable Me!!!!! i wanna i wanna!!!   >:(

So today in Taek we were breaking boards by kicking, punching or just do it how ever you want. it was a good experience. it doesnt hurt though, if you dont break the board then yeah it hurts. the trick is to have it facing the RIGHT way and kicking with the HEEL of your foot and kick on the CRACK. most of us got pissed at it and kept kicking it full on, one being me until i kicked the frame that held the board which hurt like a b*tch!!!!   >_<"
now i cant walk on it which is a pain in the arse cause i need my foot for the next three days cause im gonna be doing a whole heap of walking ==

So today i saw something which amused me. I hardly get amused now days which isnt a shocker! i get pissed easily like usual and i was also slightly unhappy at the image which made me laugh a little on the inside. anyway, bringing your girlfriend to Taek is like taking her to an arcade and have her watch you play games. its boring and is a pain in the arse. heres a pointer, you DO NOT bring your girlfriend to Taek, arcades, pool, or anything that has YOU playing and HER watching. its boring for us girls and im sure you dont know that cause youre the one who is always up and doing something!

Im still disappointed about the age thing. i now look at few people differently. As for the Stupid Panda Kunt, i still look at him the same. i hate him. i was going to throw the kicking pad at him when i was putting it away since he was holding the bag but some guy was in the way and i hit him instead. OH WELL!!   stupid panda *twitch*

my foot still hurts and i cant fully stand on it T_________T

A**HOLES ^^

Ever had those times where you feel like doing something and you actually end up doing it? I have!! MANY MANY MANY TIMESSS! That's part of living really, living and belonging. You go around and try to find the things that you enjoy and like and whether or not you'll continue with it.

I just recently joined Taekwon-do which is AWESOMEEEE!!! Yesterday when i was in one of the lessons, we were SPARRING which is like a one on one and after every match you move up the line. How stupid of me to line up at the very end and end up moving up and fighting with the ones who are on a way higher rank of belt than me. I'm a white belt DUH!
I got punched in the nose by some asian, it was light and the guy was full on like OMG I'M SO SORRY!! ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU NEED TO GO TO HOSPITAL?!!!
i have no idea what he was trying to do. if it was sarcasm then he was doing a pretty bad job at it. if he was trying to act as if hes really pro with Taek then he was also doing a bad job at it. and if he was REALLY caring then again, he was doing a really bad job at it.

Don't you just hate it when people say that you cant do something because THEY HAVE SO MUCH BELIEF IN YOU?!! yeah, the funny thing about what they say is urging you to actually do it and rub it in their faces and laugh to yourself at their reaction.

Another thing to hate is A**HOLES!!! You know the type of people who act as if they're the G when in a group but when they're alone they're like sh*t scared and try to own you with useless and stupid words? Yeah, those people i hate. I ran into an old frienemy today after lunch cause i was talking to a friend outside of school. i saw him and when he passed, he was with another guy from school who is also an a**hole. i said hi like full of happy and all he did was check out my friend from head to toe (not to mention my friend was a guy) gay much? and only said a light hi to me and walked off when i offered a hug. F***ING FAG!!! If i could, i would've kicked his a** in there and then for being such a d*ck! he was never THAT MUCH OF A D*CK back when he still went to the school. i guess he got influenced by d***heads.

Oh and the word sorry...how would one say it to you for it to be meaningful?

PART OF MY STORY!! (bored) New Year Party.

Allan ran out of the party room after me as i ran into the elevator.
"Alice wait!!" he shouted and pryed the elevator doors open. "Just let me explain would you?" he almost shouted at me.
"EXPLAIN WHAT?! I DONT WANT TO F***ING HEAR IT!!" i shouted in his face, kicked him in the shin and pushed him out.
i stormed out of the hotel when the elevator doors opened and i was filled with rage! Allan was behind me in no time, bloody quick bastard!!
"Alice wait!" he said pulled me around to face him.
"WHAT!!??" i shouted and pulled my arm out of his grasp.
"I'm sorry" was all he said. Pissed off, i stared at him in the eye and decided to say everything that i wanted him to know about just once and for the very last time.
"Sorry?! For what? For using me? Playing me as if I'm a toy? For being an a**hole perhaps? For telling me that you love me and not mean it? For lying to me? For asking me for another chance or for kissing some other b*tch in front of me?!" i shouted at him.
"I didnt lie to you! i never did!" he argued.
"BULL F***ING SH*T!!!" i yelled. "You lied during the entire time that we were together! You even lied when we broke up! What the f*ck is the matter with you huh?!" i shoved him on the shoulder.
With Allan having nothing more to say, i turned and headed for the train station. Few seconds later, he spoke and ran after me.
"If you say that, why don't you prove it? When did i lie to you?" he asked calmly. Having enough of his sh*t talk and wasnt bothered to be talking to such dumb a** i kept walking and didnt reply.
"See! You can't prove it! I never lied!" he pulled me back. "Alice give me another chance" he held my hand.
I yanked my hand out of his grasp and shouted, "ENOUGH!!!" followed by a sharp slap across his face. "I'll give you a chance alright, to get the f**k out of my face and i never want to see you again" is said through with a serious tone and sharp piercing eyes. With those last words i left and that was the last time i had seen Allan. He was just as i thought from the beginning. He was just like those a**hole that i go to school with. How can i be so gullible?

Stimulated XD

What an interesting day i had.
Well lets see i had a day off today but even so i was suppose to come in for a class but i didnt cause i wasnt bothered cause i knew that i wouldnt learn anything. So i just slept in until Lindah came over cause i told her i wasnt bothered going class so she wasnt bothered either ROFL.

When she got to my place we sat around and then we timed out what we had to do today so we left and walked to Ginifer station to go Watergardens. We had to buy a birthday present for a friend so yeah, we then ate and trained it to Sunshine cause we were watching a movie.
We watch Step Up 3. IT WAS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOD id do, i mean, id watch it again. XD after that we met up with a friend so i can get some of my stuff back and then we trained it back to school for parent teacher interviews although we went alone cause were awesomeeee XD

Watching Step Up 3 has inspired me to turn back to dance. It made me feel weird inside since i havent danced in awhile but when i had music on and moved with it, i was better then before and i had realised that i had never forgotten about it.
Back then, i could never freestyle. i told everyone around me that i didnt know how but all they said was that i just needed practise and that im probably shy. its true because i knew that i can dance, if i can do chorey then i can freestyle, i just had to be confidant and not care about what others think.
Dancing makes you feel good because youre not scared of moving in front of others. when you move with rhythm, youre expressing something from inside. And everyone can dance, you just gotta believeeee. gosh thats corny ROFLLL

Lunch time + today

LUNCH TIME
Today's lunch time was probably one out of many good lunches. why? well it was because most of us had a free in period five thats why we stayed out. Four girls walked in the light rain to Nandos for lunch. there wasnt much conversation going on as we ate but we made some stuff up which was fun since we bonded with people we havent talked to in a while. also because of the laughs.
Somehow the topic of cars came up, wait, scratch that, i brought up the topic about cars and three of us was full on like OMG THIS TYPE OF CAR HAS A SEXY ASS while one of us was texting. Its funny how girls check out cars like how guys check out girls, looking at the ass XDD
Then later the topic led to checking out girls and how its okay for girls to check out girls but its like really gay for guys to check out guys. we full on made fun of the fact that one guy who is an ex to two of us had no ass.
Since we were saying what we look for in guys first.
EYES SMILE ASS HAIR
We sat there cracking up so bad because we were imitating the ex on how he talks and how he thinks his the G! which he isnt thats why it was so damn funny ROFL

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TODAY
I woke up late again T_____________T I had a spare in the morning so i would normally wake up at 8am on Fridays. but i woke at 9.10am which made me feel even more useless since i had to take the damn bike to school again. it was tiring but not like Wednesday since i wasnt THAT late which was awesomeeeee. not really T___T
Then at the end of the day it rained so bad, i could feel my face scrunching up. i didnt want to ride home in the rain, ill get sick and thats the last thing that everybody would want, GETTING SICK!!
but then when the bell rang for end of the day it was no longer raining. i was both YAY and *TWITCH since my bike got wet. i swear why the hell do they call it a damn bike shed when THERE'S NO FRIGGIN SHED???  >__<''
by the time i got home i was puffing out of breath.

There was something that i was going to write about but i'm kind of blank at the moment .______.