I'm up at four thirty in the morning and my eyes are wide awake. after the day that i had, i should be dead tired but im just not.
i have a problem and i claim its because i havent been around people much. it could be different but i dont know what the real reason is.
im insane and its pretty bad. i feel as if im developing something thats not even close to but it feels as if i am. i just need a friend to talk to, go out with, be distracted by. being alone seriously kills me. all i need is a stranger i can talk to.
it would actually be nice to talk to someone i dont know because then ill feel as if im normal and that i have no problems what so ever.
theres always someone i can run to, but i think i kicked that person out of my life for a reason. a reason which i forgot, a reason which i think is stupid or is it? like i said, i dont know. if you must know, i dont hate that person. the only thing i hate was that i couldnt leave this place so i too can forget and relax.
well my 18th birthday is in a few days, i should be happy. but im never in a good mood when my birthday is near...dont know why either. i guess the effects of one thing lasts a life time.
i should turn in, at least fake that im asleep. mum will be up soon.
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