2013

This year has gone by so fast. So much has happened, so many things ended and so many new things started.

I can actually stand up and say that i am not the same person i was a year ago. I would never imagine myself in the position that i am now. I wish i could say that i am happy for myself.

But i am now in a seven month relationship which is going quite well and i can only hope that it will add more months to it. I have started a new job and have only been working for eight weeks and already I've gotten a promotion to become a store manager. Which means I wont be having much spare time for the first few months and so I really need to take better care of myself. My health, when i eat and most of all my skin.

It's difficult to keep nice skin when you're constantly working and stressing but i find that you just need a facial once a week whether if its just a simple face scrub or a long hour of face massage. But its going to be hard enough having the time to do the simple things.

All in all life comes and goes and whether you've been kicked down or pushed around what matters is getting back up and living your life.

Take life seriously for a change. 

Yours, Alice~

What is the perfect couple? How will you even know? when you meet someone how do you know that they are the one meant for you? you don't...you can only hope that one day you will find your self saying those vowels to that someone like how you see in every wedding movie.
You live your life based on hope, trust and strength. Hope that you will find a soul mate, trust yourself that you will do great with the strength that allows you to stand up.
But back to the point...what is the perfect couple?
Almost all of our parents have had arranged marrieds. Some turned out very well and others not so great. But what i believe is that any two people can come together and share a life together. But of course they would have to match as well based on chemistry and connection physically and spiritually. Okay so not every random people can come together. Forget what I said.
Its difficult to say or even think of where you might be in five years because at that age you would be thinking of getting married. Its normal for a girl to think about her future with the one she's with but when a guy does it, its different, its serious and he is damn certain that he wants to spend the rest of his life with this girl.
But the perfect couple....
....I don't really know. Growing up the display of couples were never really perfect as I am looking for, the couples that i have seen had always fought and broken up and my parents are a clear example of that. So it worries me when it comes to happily ever after. I still cant trust myself, and after so many months now I still lack self confidence. Its really bad because how can i love someone when i cant love myself?
I still find it hard to say I love you to him even though I've said it before. Its probably because he hasn't said it back yet...I don't know when it will be but according to him he doesn't need to say it because I should already know from his actions. But even so I just want to hear it once for the first time. Maybe that is the key to put my heart and mind at ease with my worries...

but for now i can only take things one day at a time...and hope i won't be disappointed...

Don't prove my judgement wrong...~Alice~

I look down on you from above~

Certain things in life are difficult, certain challenges come your way to test how strong you are, how far you would go and how long you will fight. But then there are certain things that are just complete unnecessary.

When I brought the two of you together I did it because I had reason behind it, good reason; but certain decisions that the two of you make after I let go of your hands causes me to wonder if it will work out between the two of you. This life you cannot live as an individual, you must live as a pair, a pair that I have made for you. Why is it that this commitment you have towards each other isn’t strong enough to hold your curiosity back? Why does it still allow you to look at other people when its clear that you have the one that’s meant for you right before your eyes?

Its unnecessary to have anyone else but the one that holds your heart in your eyes. You mustn’t look at anyone else in that way and have any opinion about them. Isn’t it enough to just have that one special person? I know how she feels about you and there are times where you are reluctant to accept her feelings and return it. Why must you hurt her the way you hurt yourself? Why must she go through so much just to be with you? I had brought the two of you together so that it would benefit both of you, but right now all it seems is that you love him much more then you should because it is clear that he does not value your love as much as you want him to.

If the two of you really do value what I gave you then you wouldn’t even think of other people. You wouldn’t look at other people and you sure as hell wouldn’t lead them on like the way you have. I am ashamed of what I have seen and I can only hope that one day the two of you will only look at each other and realise that you’ve only ever needed each other and no one else matters.

You really do love him don’t you? I’ve seen what you had done for him, I’ve seen what you gave up for him. But I can’t make him see that. And I cannot make him be something he’s not. I can’t take his bad habits away, it is up to the two of you to work it out. If it hurts you that much then tell him. Tell him that its unnecessary because to you he is the only one you need. But that puts you in a vulnerable spot where your heart can easily be ripped to shreds by the way he is.

She loves you, why can’t you see that what you do hurts her? When will you stop with your childish acts and accept her heart for who she is and only have her in your eyes?

I can only watch over the two of you now, there isn’t much that I can do…

JC~G

What is the worse events you've experienced? a loved one passing, having to leave this earth, leaving everyone behind. How deep did it cut you? was it deep enough to scar you for life? making you curl up in a corner not knowing what to do or say, its life. How long did it take you to recover? Up until now I still haven't fully recovered because i still cannot accept that she is gone. Did you change after experiencing it?